A good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of their solitude. And thus they show each other the greatest possible trust.—Rainer Maria Rilke
This morning—a Monday—I would not have normally thought, “I want to be alone.” When Sundays are quiet, I like the idea of reconnecting with the world on Mondays…sometimes.
MONDAY, PART ONE
At the start of a new week, I’m excited to see people return to being industrious. Sundays can be eerily calm to me; I feel more comfortable when people are moving around and making noise while they are thinking, making, or doing.
But I don’t really want to be catapulted into someone else’s world on Mondays. Of course, I mean that in the kindest and most compassionate way. They have their stuff and I have my stuff.
It’s trivial, but this morning I didn’t want to join the neighbor’s car wash. They pulled me in, however, by playing music outside at a high volume. Eventually I closed the window, but I didn’t want to.
Thankfully, things are back to normal now. My window is open again.
I like the sounds of a community alive to the backdrop of nature. I like the little sounds of someone going for a run, people having a conversation while they walk together, birds chirping, dogs barking, occasional cars zooming by, and a couple of delivery trucks coming through. All of that makes sense and it’s tolerable.
Which things don’t make sense? Someone yelling at their dog. Why? I’ve never understood the point of yelling at a pet, or even yelling at a person, for that matter. Loud conversations that happen really early or really late don’t make sense either.
So, I think that brings me back to the quote about solitude, which for me, is really about trust and sharing spaces with people. It’s also about respect.
Do we trust people to respect us when we want to be alone? Or more specifically, can we respect people enough to figure out when they want to be close by, but to do that quietly?
It’s an important distinction for me, because I like being close by others, but I may not want them to create a situation where I can’t escape their business.
That being said, sometimes I really want to be in their business, though! But I have enough sense to wait for them to invite me.
MONDAY, PART TWO
A peculiar voicemail message “invited” me, or “incited me” to check on some accounts. Two of them seem to be open when they should be closed, and one seems to be closed when it should be open. I honestly think all of it is garbage. I’m left wondering what is real and what is not.
My book arrived. That is real! And I don’t want anything to spoil it, so I’m not going to open it until later today when everyone and everything is done Monday-ing. My future-self will thank my past-self. I think. I hope.
MONDAY, PART THREE
I should have eaten lunch earlier, but I was working quite industriously. I missed my window. Two hours later, now I’ve waited too long. I gathered what food I could quickly. I ate in my room. I’m protecting people. From this thing—my Monday—in case it’s only real to me. And maybe this is their best Monday ever. I wouldn’t want to mess that up for anyone.
MONDAY, PART FOUR
- fresh juice is better than coffee
- a warm conversation
- additional forms of online work $
- a friendly walk around the neighborhood
- my 90% raw-eating lifestyle
- a new book to read
Our (mon)days can start out just fine, then go haywire, then get back on track. This time, I maintained my sense of resolve and I didn’t completely resign to the natural roller coaster. I think the juice helped! Cheers. 🙂